12/25/2009

A good story i think....

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand
and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know
how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I
want a divorce... I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw
away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night,
we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to
find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give
her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love
her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted
a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our
car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it
into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had
become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and
energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so
dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The
idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be
firmer and clearer now..

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to
sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful
day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table
writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In
the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out
of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going
crazy.. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her
odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly
and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has
to face the divorce, she said scornfully...

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day,
we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the
bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten
meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't
tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I
put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I
drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much
more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of
her blouse. I realized that I realized she was not young any more.
There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our
marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had
done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense
of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of
her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on
quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she
sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she
had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more
easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her
head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum
out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body
tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight
made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a
step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I
hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to
office.....jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I
was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then
touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand
off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was
boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our
lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize
that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed
to hold her until death do us apart.. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up.
She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into
tears.

I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.. The salesgirl asked me what
to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every
morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers
in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife
in the bed -dead......I cried and cried uncontrollably and carried her
for the last time from the room to the hall with tears streaming down
my face and gazing at my only son, his tears rolling from his eyes,
they made me cry even more. I had lost my love, my wife and a loving
and caring mother and nothing I could do now to put the clock
backward. I had all the time now to look at her motionless body in
detail but I knew it was going to be only for a short while until she
made her last journey to the Lord......

I held my son and wept again and again thinking of all the things I
did not do for her when she was still alive.........and placed gently
the flowers in her hands with my tears trickling on them........she
was gone forever, all my tears would not bring her back .

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in
the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be
your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that
build intimacy.. Do have a real happy marriage!

12/20/2009

bErHiJrahLah kita Ke aRAh yg LebIh BAik=)



blom trlmbt rasenye nk ngucap salam maal hijrah buat sume kwn2=)
sebot sal maal hijrah,ape azam baru kite? nk kuruskah? nk lebih strugglekah? nk kurg tidokah??owhoho...msg2 mungkin ade yg da psg niat nk lbh baekkan?
sebot org,ak sindri ni da ada niat ke??

huhu...ye,saye ade=) saye mahu berubah ke arah yg lebih baek drpd tahun2 sblmnye..seharusnye kite perlu bersyukr kerna msh dipnjgkan umo olehNya..ingtla kwn2, gunakanla umo kite ni dgn sebaeknye kearah jln yg betol dan diredhai..dlm dunia ni,nobody's perfect..sbgai hmbaNya, kite hendkla salu berdoa moga stiap amalan kebaikan kite dtrimeNya..saye mahu berubah tp bagaimana?mgkn ade yg sesetgh pk camnikan?disbbkan faktor persekitaran,rakan2 n mgkn keluarga ke,yg menyebbkn seseorg itu xdpt nk berubh..so,peranan rakan2 yg laen bantulah dia untuk berubah..

mgkn ade rakan kite yg mahu berubah,jd kita sbgai rakan,bantulah die untuk berubah..org yg nk berubah ni,perlukan masa,kite tak blh r nk mtk die brubah scr drastikkan,mgkn mase akn dtg kite akn nmpk perubhan die sape tau..sume ni hanya Allah sahaja yg maha mengetahui..so,sbgai rakan gak yg nk lihat kawan kite ni berubah,doakanla die salu moga hati die mmg ikhlas nk berubah..ye,inila azam yg kite nak,berubah ke arah yg lebih baek=D
cemana plak azam2 yg laen yg tak dpt dilaksanakan?ye,sempat lg nk buat sempena tahun baru ni..harap2 dpt laksanakn dgn segera...ape azamku??ye,mahu turun 5kg=p

ye..sbgai kawan,saye berase sgt gembire apabila ada rakan saye yg nak berubah..
dan semestinya saye brase lbh sgt gembire andai saye sindri yg dpt berubah ke arah lbh baek..
saye sbgai rakan sntiasa mendoakan moga kawan saye dpt berubah ke arah yg lbh baek,
andai 1 hari nanti saye ditakdirkan bertemu kamu kembali,
mgkn sayala antara org yg plg gembira skali dgn perubahan kamu,
dan biarla perubahan kamu itu berkekalan ke arah yg lebih baek,
dan saya juga tidak menafikan smoga andai tiba satu masa itu,
saya mahu menjadi seorg yg lebih baek drpd yg sblmnya,
dan tidak dinafikan saye telah bertemu dgn beberapa rakan2 saya yg telah berubh ke arah yg lebih baek,perasaan itu sggh menakjubkan bila kita sindri melihatnya, da tak sama mcm dulu,malah lbh baek berbndg yg dulu,bukanka itu adlh yg terbaek bg dirinya??
dan yg terbaek juga bg saya kerana seolah2 memberi 1 smgt pada saya moga saya dpt berubah mcm dia juga^^

buat rakan saya yg nk berubah,saye sentiasa mendoakan kamu smoge kamu dpt berubah kearah yg lbh baek dan biarla perubahan kamu itu dpt memberi kepuasan kepada diri kamu sendiri,bukan kerana dipaksa tetapi datang dari hati yg ikhlas...moga Allah sentiasa bersama kamu dan saya dan juga rakan2 yg laen^^


adios~~~again,salam maal hijrah dari saya=D


12/06/2009

sahabat lamaku..

Alhamdulillah..akhirnya berjaya juga ana memperbaharui blog yg suda lapuk ni...
kasi dia namapak 'fresh' sikit..nampak menarik pada pandangan mataku...pun suda cukup bagi menggembirakan hati ana....mepek pulak aku ni...

okla...berkaitan tajuk blog ana pada hari ini,
actually, hari tu ana ada kemas bilik yg bersepah2..pastu TERjumpala kenangan2 lama kat skool dulu...KISAS ke...SMAKL ke....SK** ke...
gambar2 kelas...majalah2 sekolah...kawan2 satu kelas...T_T....
da lama kita tak berjumpa....
agak2 nye bila?
da tue bangka??...or...makan nasi minyak??...da beranak-pinak??....badan da naik kg ke??...turun ke???
ana pun tak taula...bila kan..
hanya Allah yang berkuasa yang Maha Menentukan..
ana pasti sahabat2 ana ramai yang da berubah...dan ana mengharapkan perubahan tu biarlah perubahan yang baik..
kalau ada yang jadi teruk and dia tahu dia da teruk, segeralah merujuk kpd Allah..
Dia pasti akan mendengar setiap rintihan kita..
ana tak nafikan MEMANG bukan senang untuk maintainkan benda yang baik dalam diri kita..
it's very and really hard sepertimana firman Allah dalam surah al-ankabut ayat 2,
"apakah manusia mengira bahawa mereka akan dibiarkan hanya dengan mengatakan 'kami telah beriman' dan mereka tidak diuji?"
yes! setiap hambanya sememangnya diuji dan setiap orang menghadapi ujian yang berbeza dan takkan pernah sama...kerana hanya Dia sahaja yang mengetahui sejauh mana kekuatan hamba2Nya...
sebagaimana dalam surah al-Baqarah ayat 286 yang bermaksud "Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya....."
kalau kita rasa ujian yang Allah berikan terhadap kita sangat berat, ingatlah bahawa ujian tu sebenarnya sesuai dengan kemampuan kita kerana sesungguhnya Allah tidak pernah menzalimi hamba2nya sebaliknya merekalah yang menzalimi diri sendiri sepertimana yang Allah nyatakan dalam kebanyakan surah2...
di sini ana ingin berkongsi mengenai "HOW TO CHOOSE A FRIEND"
Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda yang bermaksud,
'seseorang itu menurut agama (aturan) kekasihnya, maka oleh sebab itu baiklah seseorang dari kamu semua meneliti orang yang akan dikasihinya'
riwayat Abu Daud dan Tarmizi
pesanan Al-Qamah kepada anaknya...
"anakku, jika kamu berasa perlu untuk bersahabat dengan seseorang, maka pilihlah yang mempunyai sifat ini iaitu,
  • Jika engkau melayaninya, dia suka melindungimu
  • Jika engkau menjadi sahabatnya, dia akan menjadi hiasan bagi dirimu
  • Jika engkau dalam keadaan kekurangan nafkah, dia akan mencukupkan keperluanmu
  • Pilihlah sahabat yang apabila engkau menghulurkan tangan untuk memberikan jasa baik atau bantuan, lalu dia menyambutnya dengan rasa terharu
  • Jika dia melihat kebaikan yang timbul dari dirimu, dia suka menghitungnya dan menganggapnya sangat bernilai
  • Jika dia mengetahui keburukan dalam dirimu, lalu dia cuba melindungkannya
  • Pilihlah sahabat yang apabila engkau meminta sesuatu daripadanya, dia pasti memberi
  • Jika engkau diam, dia mula menyapa dahulu
  • Jika ada kesukaran dan kesedihan yang menimpa dirimu, dia pasti membantu, meringankan serta menghiburkan
  • Pilihlah sahabat yang jika engkau berkata2, dia suka membenarkan ucapanmu dan bukan selalu mempercayai sahaja
  • Jika engkau mengusahakan sesuatu persoalan yang berat, dia suka menemanimu mengusahakannya
  • Jika engkau berselisih dengannya, dia suka sekali mengalah untuk kepentinganmu

oleh itu wahai sahabat2ku yang ana kasihi skalian..marilah sama2 kita mempraktikkan apa yang disarankan oleh al-Qamah ini...

moga berjaya dalam persahabatanmu dan hidupmu jua....

12/02/2009

kemas rumah anda...

baru2 ini saya berkesempatan meng "interview" beberapa org yg saya jumpa di tepi jalan2..
soalan saya ialah berkenaan dgn JIRAN.
tujuan saya menyoal mereka adlh untuk mengetahui sejauh mana kpntingan jran dlm hidup seseorg...
pernah tak anda berpindah rumah??
brape kali??
seronok x pndah rmh??
banyak x jiran?
kenal semua?
still contact dengan jiran lama?
ada x jran yg bermasalah?
mcm...ad yg bwk blk jantina lain dlm rumah bg yg bujang, ad yg meragut ke, yg brgaduh x habis2, yg menjerit terpekik terlolong ke, yg xpena tahu pun sape jran sblh rumah die...
ada x?
pena dgr x pepatah arab, "al-jarr qobla ad-darr"?
1st answer: ye, sy pena brpndh rumah...byk kali plak tu...
jiran meeeemang banyakkkk...x terkire.. da byk kali pndh kn, mstila byk..
nk kate kenal semue tu, xdela smpi mendalam sgt, just knal2 mcm 2 jela..
contact ngan jiran lama?..hmmm...kalo ad kwn sebaya 2 yela contact lg, tp kalo dgn mkck2 2 xdela contact da..
jran bermasalah???hmmm rmh trbaru ni xtaula plak...tp kalo umah dulu alhamdulillah xdela mslh brt sgt...jran bising 2 prkara biase...small matter man! da hdp brjiran, kt mestila trime jran kita seadanya...
pepatah 2, sy pena dgr time skola men dlu...memg btol pon ppatah 2.. sbb ustaz sy ada ckp, kalo nk pndh rumah kene tgk jiran dlu, baru tgk rumh.
biar rumah buruk sekalipun, asalkan jiran kita baik...yela, sape nk ddk sebelah rumah bapak ayam kan?
2nd answer: ak x pena pnda umah..dr aku umo stahun smpaila skang umah aku kt kampung **** 2 jela...xpena rase pn dok kaw baru...
mcm mane nk sonok, xpena rase pn pndah. tp best r ak ckp, dok kaw ak ni...ak cukup kenal ngan sume jran aku...rapat beb!
jiran aku dr dulu smpi skang org yg same je...xpena brubh pon...tp, 1 r yg plg best pon, aku memg rrrapatttt giler ah ngan jran aku ni...da kenal dr umo stahon kn...smpai skang la still contact..masalah dorg, mslh aku jgk..
jiran aku sume baek punye! gerenti 100%..
ppatah 2, hmm..aku pena dgr..tp, aku xdela tau sgt mksd sebenar die..
3rd answer: pndah uma?...pena r skali je...2 pon aku nyamph gle nk pndh...dala penat..nk kms brg pon leceh...ish! malas!! tp, ak kesian ngan mak bapak ak...dpt ank degil cmni...ad kaitan ke??haha
jiran???what the heck is that??aku x pena dgr pon prkataan jran 2..aku mane amek tau pasal jiran ni...aku, aku...kau, kau...
jran brmasalah....aku rase...aku la kot jran yg bermasalah 2...tau xpe...sedar pon..
pepatah ARAB???mengaji pon aku xpena! cmne aku nk tahu pemende tu??ish3x...trok btola mamat ni...
ha! nila jwpn2 yg saya dpt..
brdsrkan soal selidik saya ni...saya rasa, xramai yg menegenali jiran kita dgn lebih dekat.
sebagai seorang muslim, kita seharusnya dan sepatutnya mengenali jiran2 kita. kerana merekalah yg paling dekat dgn kita.
saya menyokong jwpn no.1, sgt bagus sesiapa yg mempunyai jiran spt itu. sesiapa yg seperti no.1, kekalkan, karakter anda!
kpd sesiapa yg bernombor 2, baik, kalau bole tolong jiran2 anda yg bermasalah pula.
no.3, anda perlu UBAH sikap anda! anda seharusnya lebih cakna akan masalah sekeliling anda! dan bukannya mementingkan diri sendiri...
marilah kita bersama2 bermuhasabah diri...yang mana stukah anda??
renung2kn dan pikir2kn...
skrglah masanya untuk anda berubah!!