1/29/2013

My very 1st semester 1st degree

-Bismillahirrahmanirrahim-

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

Alhamdulillah..

After a very long hiatus i guess..Finally i could make it. It is a time that nearly cease my writing skill i think. As you can see my title for this post, yes, i’m gonna write about my 1st sem 1st degree. For those who are yet finish their secondary school, they might feel very eager to enter a university to pursue their study i bet. Tiba-tiba terasa grammar berterabur.. huhu.

Maksud saya, siapa yang tak rasa happy kalau dapat sambung study kat universiti kan? Semua orang mesti ada cita2 nak masuk universiti kan? Jadi, sejak dari bangku sekolah lagi mesti dah prepare dengan bersungguh2 nya kan? However, the moment you enter the university, that is the very first moment you know the reality of the world is. You are no longer a student. I mean, ‘budak sekolah’. But, you are university student, yes, still a student but with more load ahead of you. The far you go, the more responsibility you need to carry.

And, the climax is when you ask yourself, for what you live up until today? What exactly that you want to achieve throughout your life? To have a very good life? then? what’s next? become the richest human in the world? But, Hey! Duit tak boleh masuk kubur tau! Saya tak nafikan, saya pernah terfikir ‘i’m too afraid to face tomorrow’ sebab there are so many unexpected things that await us right? Memang pernah in a 1 week, i kept on thinking about death. It is indeed a good thing to always think about death,, but before that? Amalan dah cukup ke?

Sepanjang satu semester, pelbagai perkara yang bermain di minda. I’ve got so many problems and i don’t know how to solve it. To make it worst, i don’t even know how to share my problems with my family. Bukanlah bermaksud nak tambah beban family dengan mendengar rintihan, tapi women nature, bila ada problem, kena ada orang dengar. Bila ada orang dengar automatic, problem solved. And i end up kumpul semua masalah, and crying every weekend. Terasa macam hiperbola plak..haha.. Tapi boleh dikatakan macam tula.

I never live far from my parents, kalau sekolah dulu pun, asrama semua satu negeri dengan rumah. Asal sekolah bagi kebenaran balik je, i grab the chance without thinking. Even masuk pusat asasi pun, hujung minggu je memang lesapla. Suddenly, buat degree dekat Kuantan, jauh tu. (Pada sayala). Jadi, automatic balik satu semester sekali je. Tak suka naik basla katakan.. That’s one problem but not a big problemla.

My course is not the very first course that i decide to take. So, memang macam terumbang ambing jela masa first sem kan. Nak tukar kos tu memang selalu sangat terlintas kat kepala, lebih2 lagi lepas dapat markah kuiz. I never told my parents about my quizzes. Pada saya, memang terukla markah tu nak dibandingkan dengan classmates lain kan. This was a really a big problem to me. Bertambah sedih bila ada kawan kita cakap, markah dia teruk, tapi bila saya tengok markah dia, i just can only mengetap bibir je. My mark was much more worst than her! But, she doesn’t even know! Jadi, i kept on memujuk diri, dan memberi kata2 semangat kepada diri sendiri. Disebabkan saya sangat takut untuk melihat markah kuiz saya, jadi saya tak tahu pun carry marks saya berapa sem lepas. Mungkin ada yang berkata, ‘budak ni macam tak concern je dengan kuiz dia’. Pedulikla apa orang nak kata. Of course saya concern, but because i’m the type of easily down if i know my marks are not good enough. I know there are some people yang kalau markah dia rendah, dia akan berusaha denagn lebih gigih kan, unfortunately, i’m not like that. Saya akan jadi lagi malas nak belajar.

Financial problem sometimes bother me. To some extent, yes it bother me a lot. Tapi memang ada yang lagi memerlukan kan? So, i’m always talk to myself that, ada orang lagi susah dari kita. So, i really need to manage my finance kan? Put your trust in Allah. Always think positive.

Alhamdulillah, dalam sebulan terakhir nak dekat final exam, i could overcome my problems. You just need to play with words and talk to yourself. Calm yourself and believe in yourself. And, please always believe in Him.

Jadi, nasihat saya kepada anda2 yang bakal memasuki alam universiti, please be prepared mentally and physically. It is a battle between yourself, a battle between now and future. First sem tu kalau selalu rasa nak tukar kos tu, tu memang perkara biasa. Memang kene fikir sedalam yang mungkin. Mana-mana kos yang ada kat dunia ni, semunya ada difficulties yang tersendiri. Don’t always think that only your course je yang very difficult. Oh ye lagi satu, topik kahwin memang hangat the moment you enter university. So, be prepared la ye. Kalau nak kahwin awal tu, memang kena ada deep thought.

I think, enough for this post. I hope you can get something from this post. Something that can benefit you. See you in the next post.

Wassalam.

Syukran Jazilan. Ma’assalamah wa ilal liqo’.

Tuesday

29012013 @ 17031434

Bangi

01:21